First, visualize an iPad with family photos on the screen. Then you see what looks like a sound system control board on the smart device. Next is an ultrasound image of a fetus, followed by regional sales graphs, cells dividing, and an alphabet picture book.
The following mess is the text of this television commercial for iPad 2.
If you ask a parent, they might call it intuitive.
If you ask a musician, they might call it inspiring.
To a doctor, it’s groundbreaking.
To a CEO, it’s powerful.
To a teacher, it’s the future.
If you ask a child, she might call it magic.
If you asked us, we’d say, “It’s just getting started.”
If you ask me, I'd say the advertising agency has a serious writing and editing deficiency. A professional writer was hired to craft this? Why the inconsistent pronoun use? They is plural, of course. The writer needs to choose either he or she for the parent. Is the musician a he or a she? Pick one! The ad author finally gets it right at the end, selecting she for the child.
Not wishing to declare the sex of the unknown person, the timid writer could opt to use the construction of the middle sentences throughout the piece…
(To a doctor, it’s groundbreaking. To a CEO, it’s powerful. To a teacher, it’s the future.)…and avoid making any gender choices at all.
As it is written, the script is faulty. The commercial is defective; smart people might be turned off to the product, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment